


Justification

by youngerdrgrey



Category: Castle, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-16
Updated: 2013-02-16
Packaged: 2017-11-29 11:12:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/686309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngerdrgrey/pseuds/youngerdrgrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kate was seventeen when she first met Addison. AU (yet oddly canon compliant). Kate Beckett/Addison Montgomery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Justification

Kate justified their relationship by calling it part of her rebellious stage, even though it lasted through most of her lifetime.

Kate was seventeen when she first met Addison. Her boyfriend at the time, a 'tough' nineteen-year-old with a bike to match hers, had played chicken with a lamp post. Kate wandered the halls of the hospital while Trevor was in surgery. She eventually found herself watching the newborn babies through the glass window in the hall. One in particular caught Kate's eye, one a little smaller than the rest with red hair and a sign that read 'Emma.' She was gorgeous. No one had really held her yet. No one had hurt her. But someone did love her. Kate imagined there was a woman somewhere in the hospital, wondering the same way Trevor's mom was, the same way Kate's mom would be when she heard the brunette's rushed voicemail. ("Hey, Mom, at the hospital. Don't freak out. Trevor crashed his bike. At least it wasn't me who did it, right? Don't say I told you so on this one. Call me when you get out of court. Bye.") Actually, Johanna would probably just kill Kate.

"They're something, aren't they?" a woman asked. Kate turned her head towards the voice. That was when she first saw Addison. The red head wore scrubs, light blue since she wasn't an attending yet. Her hair was long, well past her shoulders. Kate couldn't take her eyes off of it. She told herself it was because she wanted her own hair to be that long. She had cut it the week before.

Kate nodded and brought her gaze back to the babies. "They are."

Addison stepped closer to the glass and to Kate. She asked, "Are you - I mean, is one -" Addison stalled her sentence. Kate understood anyway.

Kate answered, "No. I'm here because my friend drove his bike into a pole. I just got distracted by the babies."

Addison nodded slowly, a look of what seemed to be relief on her face.

Kate studied her. Addison could have easily been the mother of the little girl in the room. She was probably the girl's doctor or something. The thought made her smile. It was like in  _Temptation Lane_ , really attractive doctors in scrubs that fit a little too well and hair flowing about distractingly rather than being tied away. Not that Kate was complaining.

Addison stuck out her hand and introduced herself. "I'm Doctor Addison Montgomery. I've been specializing in babies so I know how distracting they can be."

Kate accepted the hand. "I'm Kate Beckett. I'm just... trying not to be one. Growing up, watching bad things happen, getting into horrible relationships that bring me to meet interesting people."

Addison rose an eyebrow at that.

"I'm interesting?" Addison asked.

Kate took in the big eyes and the slightly teasing smile. "Yeah, you're interesting."

...

Months went by before their paths crossed again. That day had been just another day with just another random boyfriend. That one was named Patrick and he had a love for frat parties. He was already in college and she was just about to begin it. Her best friend, Maddie, was there as well so Kate allowed herself to let go. She drank and she danced and she genuinely had a pretty fantastic time.

She was on the makeshift dance floor when she crashed into someone. She glanced to see who she ran into and faltered at the red hair she loved so much.

"Doctor!" she cried happily. Addison froze and considered Kate analytically.

"Kate, correct?" Addison checked. Kate nodded quickly.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked. Addison pointed over Kate's shoulder to where a muscled man with blue eyes leered over a tiny blonde. Kate would later learn his name was Mark Sloan, one of Addison's friends and a bit of a manwhore. At the time, Kate only saw a reason to distract the doctor. She started dancing again, slowly and sensually, running her fingers through her hair as she avoided eye contact. She swallowed but the dryness in her throat wouldn't dissipate. Addison seemed to notice and grabbed Kate's hand.

"Let's get you some water," Addison said.

The two moved through the throng of people towards a bathroom. Addison turned on the tap and Kate forced some water down her throat just so that she wouldn't do something stupid.

"You're really pretty," blurted Kate. So much for that.

Addison shook her head. "How drunk are you?"

Kate considered that. She turned around with her back to the sink. How drunk was she? Not too much that she couldn't think straight. Enough where she'd probably have a hangover and definitely enough where she couldn't drive herself home. She was comfortably in the region of 'I-did-that-because-I-was-drunk' though. She stepped forward.

"Drunk enough to try this," Kate said before leaning forward and claiming Addison's lips for her own. After a second, Addison stepped back.

"That was not a good idea," Addison said. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen, as of two weeks ago," Kate replied.

Addison scoffed and shook her head at her reflection. She said, "You're practically a baby."

Kate asked, "Don't you have a thing for babies?" She paused and giggled at herself. "Not like a thing 'cause that's gross. Really gross. I mean, you have a thing for me. You do. You have to because I kind of have this thing for you. And I had this dream about you. Let me tell you, doctor fantasies are just..." Kate shivered happily.

Addison needed an out. She said, "I'm in a relationship." She held up her left hand, displaying her wedding ring.

Kate narrowed her eyes at it. How could Addison be married? No. She couldn't be. "Why are you here then?"

"To get Mark," Addison answered.

"Why?" Kate asked.

Addison paused. Her truthful answer would not be a good deterrent. She was there to get Mark so that she could sleep with him in some sort of misguided hope to feel loved. But why did she need Mark anyway? He wanted someone younger than her. Derek probably did too. Addison didn't need either of them. She could get someone younger herself, which she already had without even trying. She was hot. She was a catch. And if this eighteen-year-old girl could see it, why couldn't the man she married? Or his best friend who she normally slept with?

"I don't know," Addison said.

Kate stepped in again. She whispered, "Kiss me. Please."

And so Addison did. There was more to it than that, but they said they wouldn't mention it again.

...

They bumped into each other one time when Kate's dad was in the Emergency Room for alcohol poisoning. Addison was leaving a sixteen hour shift and Kate was between lectures that felt that long. Kate was a mess before Addison got to her, but she crumbled further when she realized just who was enveloping her into a hug. Addison brought her to one of the On Call rooms for some privacy. Kate just exploded into stories about her mother and her father and what had become of them since the murder. She had no one to take care of her, no one to love her and make sure she was okay. Addison broke down too.

Her pager went off. Derek had left the message that meant he wouldn't be making it home that night. It was fitting since Addison wouldn't either.

...

Addison spent the next week in and out of conversations with Kate. About Jim. About Derek. About them. It was weird to think that she was in three relationships at once. She justified that by simply not thinking about it.

...

They eventually lost touch again. Addison ran after Derek to Seattle. Mark ran after Addison. Kate joined the force. Kate loved Royce. Kate made detective. Derek chose Meredith. Royce left. Addison moved to L.A. Kate met Castle. They moved on.

...

Addison was the one to call. During her Stepford wife time after her mother's suicide, she just needed someone who might understand even a bit of what she was going through. Kate hadn't known what to say so she just talked.

"It's another thing we have in common, being in the No Moms club. Membership is nonrefundable. No tax breaks. No fun prizes. But we can have annual meetings in hopes that everything just stops hurting. Some days, you'll feel like you can't breathe. I wouldn't blame you if you came here. I wouldn't judge you. I wouldn't ask you anything. You could come back to New York, Addison. Come back."

They both knew she wouldn't, but for the briefest moment, Addison considered it.

...

After Royce died, Kate flew out to L.A. She planned to visit Addison at some point, but Castle was there and, well, there were some parts of her past she really didn't want him to know about. Addison was one of them. Kate didn't mention it to either of them.

...

Kate eventually told Addison. The day before Roy's funeral, she told Addison to come back to New York. Not to live, Kate insisted, just because Kate couldn't really think and having Addie always seemed to make things oddly clear.

Addison was in New York by the time the funeral was supposed to end. She called Kate's cellphone and heard some guy. Josh. She didn't really register anything after "Kate's been shot" so the very fact that she eventually made it to the hospital should be revered.

She bumped into Jim Beckett in the hallway. He stared at her for a while before saying, "I didn't know you and Katie still talked."

Addison shrugged because they didn't normally. She didn't know what to say. She had spoken to Jim once and that was only to tell him that she wasn't his doctor and only was in his hospital room for Kate. That was an awkward conversation she did not want to repeat.

"She called me yesterday. I wasn't expecting this when I got here though," Addison said. Jim nodded.

"None of us were. They say she should be fine. Surgery is wrapping up," Jim said.

Relief swelled through Addison. Oh thank God. Maybe they hadn't moved on.

...

"So that's Castle huh?" asked Addison.

Kate looked up from the bed at the familiar voice. A small smile broke out on her face. The question registered. It faded.

"Yeah, that's him."

"You want to tell me why I don't have to fight him for a few minutes alone with you?"

"I told him to go."

"Why?" Addison asked. For her? She felt horrible for wishing it, but she really wished it was for her.

"He said he loved me."

Fuck. "W-when?"

"After I got shot. He doesn't know I know. I don't want to know. I do, but.... Castle always screws things up. He gets in the way. He weasles his way in and then he just stays. It's frustrating. It's.... I need a break, from him and everything."

The words were out before Addison thought them over. She said, "Come to L.A."

Kate justified her answer by calling it a midlife crisis. Addison justified it by thinking the same words that had Kate running to her: _I love you._


End file.
